


Lee Sangyeon: protector of gays

by imsokyoriosyeh (jesperwrites_norights)



Series: You Scared? Go to Church [2]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Catholic School, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Violence, No Beta, Semi-Vent Fic, ages are fucked up, mentions of abuse, so am I, straight up imma put that out there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesperwrites_norights/pseuds/imsokyoriosyeh
Summary: “Gay people tend to clump together when the system’s against them,” Hyunjae said, very matter-of-factly as he leaned over to get a spoonful of Sangyeon’s rice.It took a minute for that to sink in, “Wait, more of you are gay?”Kevin laughed, “More of us? Hyung, all of us are gay.”“… What?”or a lil fic of Sangyeon being the ultimate ally, because it was his birthday a while back and I am very thankful for his birth.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Lee Sangyeon/Everyone
Series: You Scared? Go to Church [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1092648
Comments: 37
Kudos: 185





	1. i don't get it :(

**Author's Note:**

> for that one straight friend in the gaggle of gays
> 
> specifically the one in my friend group, you're a real g i love you
> 
> enjoy!

“Younghoon—Oh. Sorry.”

Sangyeon covered his eyes as he heard Younghoon and whoever he was making out with scramble and knock over a few chairs.

“Sangyeon?”

“I’ll come back later. It’s okay,” Sangyeon laughed nervously and turned, “I’ll just go.”

“Tell him to turn off the lights,” Chanhee whispered.

Wait, “Chanhee?”

“Shit, shit.”

“It’s fine,” Younghoon turned to face him, “It’s just you, right?”

“Yeah just me.”

Chanhee peeked out from behind Younghoon, “You won’t tell anyone?”

“No of course not,” Sangyeon assured them, “It’s fine guys. I’ll-“ he turned the lights back off “-see you guys later.”

He hurried out of the room, his mind reeling from what he’d just seen. He’d been friends with both of them for years, and neither of them seemed to be… at the point where they would make out with each other. They did bicker a lot and were very handsy but that was normal among them. Why didn’t he know? Was he supposed to know? What was he supposed to do with this information?

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“Hyung? You good?”

Sangyeon blinked when Eric waved a hand over his face, “Huh? Oh yeah why?”

“You haven’t eaten,” Kevin pointed at his lunch container, “You’re usually done before the freshies are out for lunch.”

“Oh,” Sangyeon shoveled another spoonful of his fried rice, “I was just thinking.”

“About what?” Sunwoo asked as he sat on the floor opposite them.

Sangyeon wondered how to phrase it, “What makes someone gay?”

Haknyeon, who had been drinking a cafeteria slushie, had to lean away to stop himself from choking. Sunwoo patted him on the back to help.

Kevin didn’t miss a beat, “Well, some people are just born gay, as Theology of the Body would have us think—”

“Kevin.”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m so tired of that class.”

“I know,” Jacob reached over and held his hand, “Me too. But to answer your question um, it’s different for every person.”

“I figured as much,” Sangyeon nodded, “But, I don’t know, I just want to understand it? Especially since—”

_You won’t tell anyone?_

“—Nevermind.”

His four friends exchanged looks before Haknyeon asked, “Hyung are you gay?”

“What? No I don’t think so,” Sangyeon frowned, “What would make you think that?”

“Dunno, you’re asking pretty sus questions,” Sunwoo said before taking a sip from Haknyeon’s slushie.

“What’s sus?” Changmin asked as he, Juyeon, and Hyunjae joined their lunch circle.

“Hyung’s asking questions about gay people,” Kevin filled.

“What why? Are you gay?” Hyunjae asked, “’Cause if you are, I’m free this weekend—”

“Dude, stop,” Juyeon laughed, “But seriously, hyung are you?”

“I mean, it would make sense,” Changmin said as he ripped open his moist sandwich bag, “You’ve been friends with all of us for years.”

Sangyeon felt the crease on his forehead get deeper, “What does that have to do with it?”

“Gay people tend to clump together when the system’s against them,” Hyunjae said, very matter-of-factly as he leaned over to get a spoonful of Sangyeon’s rice.

It took a minute for that to sink in, “Wait, more of you are gay?”

Kevin laughed, “More of us? Hyung, _all of us_ are gay.”

“… What?”

“Except for Haknyeon,” Sunwoo added.

“I’m ace,” Haknyeon agreed between bites of his lunch.

“What?”

“It means asexual,” Juyeon added unhelpfully.

Sangyeon had been friends with the same 10 people for as long as he could remember; they’d all been neighbors since elementary, and Kevin and Jacob moved in in middle school. So for him not to know this was… baffling? Was it neglectful on his end?

“Wait wait I… Since when? The whole high school? Why did I not know?”

“I dunno, we did nothing to hide it?” Hyunjae crunched loudly on his kimchi, “Kevin and Jacob have been saying they’re soulmates for years.”

“Chanhee and Younghoon have been skirting around each other’s dicks for ages,” Changmin added.

_Oh Changmin, wait until you find out._ Sangyeon thought back to Chanhee and Younghoon tangled with each other and groaning in the dark, empty classroom, knocking into desks and scattering papers without a care in the world.

“And,” Sunwoo said, “Hyunjae-hyung has tea on everybody he knows, Kevin-hyung wears corsets to the mall, and Juyeon-hyung and Eric have a monthly skincare sleepover—"

“Did you really not notice?” Eric laughed.

“I didn’t want to make judgments?” Sangyeon couldn’t decide whether his face was on fire or just straight up numb, “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey no don’t be,” Jacob assured him, “It’s really decent of you. Kind of our faults that we never told you explicitly.”

“… do you not like it?” Juyeon asked.

Haknyeon’s eyes widened, “If you’re not okay with it we can stop—”

Kevin snorted, “How would we stop?”

Sangyeon’s spoon hit his container, “No don’t stop… being gay. I don’t have a problem with it, I just, I don’t get it.”

“That’s okay too,” Hyunjae patted him on the head, “We’re not expecting you to.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

The sentiment was nice, but Sangyeon didn’t want to settle for that. He wanted to get it. These were his friends he’d known since middle school, some even longer. He considered himself a good friend, yet he’d spent almost every day with them and had no idea about such an important part of their identities.

“Sangyeon,” Younghoon snapped his fingers under his nose, “Lee Sangyeon you better not make me solve this seatwork by myself.”

“Yeah sorry,” He laughed, “Where were we?”

“Number 30, one of those work problems. I never remember how to solve them.”

Younghoon and Chanhee had missed the whole lunch hour. And everyone at the table assumed they were somewhere arguing or doing some sort of school work. But Sangyeon wondered whether they had stayed in the classroom, and risked someone else walking in on them. Or if they had moved somewhere more private like the bathroom, or one of the broom closets…

**Peter can mow the lawn in 40 minutes and his boyfriend John--**

“What?”

“What?” Younghoon echoes.

“Nothing, I read it wrong,” Sangyeon frowned.

**\--his _friend_ John can mow the lawn in 60 minutes. How long will it take for them to mow the lawn together?**

“I can’t think anymore.”

“Same oh my god,” Younghoon sighed, leaning back in his chair, “My dick is so loud right now.”

Younghoon usually said stuff like that, but now that Sangyeon knew he was talking about Chanhee it was weird, “Are you in love with him?” he asked quietly.

“Pffffft WHAT? NO what the fuck,” Younghoon spat, then quieted down when their teacher gave them a look, “What the fuck Sangyeon.”

“I mean you…” _have been skirting around each other’s dicks for years_ “… seemed really into it a while ago.”

“Because he wanted a good makeout and I’m not a shit friend,” Younghoon narrowed his eyes, “You didn’t tell the others, did you? Or anyone? You promised.”

“I didn’t tell anyone!” Sangyeon leaned and pretended to be answering the problem set, “But do you love him?”

“Eh, no, not yet.”

“How do you know when you do?”

“I’ll love him when we have time for that stuff,” Younghoon tapped his Apple watch and swiped to his calendar, “Maybe we’ll be in love after finals or something.”

Sangyeon understood that. Kind of. “Is that a thing that gay friends just do with each other? Make out without actually dating?”

“We’re both down so,” Younghoon shrugged, “It works.”

“Okay. So if you’re not dating why do you care so much about people not knowing?”

Younghoon hums, putting their pointless scratch paper and problem set aside, “Do you know about Kevin’s shit?”

Sangyeon picked through his memories, “That he hates theology?”

“It’s because he was, you know, being a basic gay bitch in freshman year and someone ratted him out to a teacher. And people have been treating him weirdly ever since.”

Sangyeon frowned, “Even the teachers?”

“The teachers started it. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Honestly no,” Sangyeon frowned, “But then again I didn’t know any of you were gay until today.”

“Seriously?” Younghoon laughed, “Well yeah, that’s why we don’t want people to know. That and neither of us want to admit we made out, we know the others have been betting on us for years.”

“Time’s up! Pass your papers.”

Sangyeon scribbled one of their half assed solutions onto the paper and passed it forward, “If the teachers were so terrible to Kevin, why hasn’t he changed school?”

“He wants to stay, instead of having to start over somewhere else. And, you know,” Younghoon’s expression was a weird mix of fondness and disgust, “Sangyeon, if you’re looking for some young gay love, don’t ask me. Ask Jacob and Kevin.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Sangyeon watched the chat on his phone as Kevin and Jacob went back and forth at each other on the groupchat. Occasionally someone would interject with a meme, but the two kind of acted like they were in a private chat. He used to find their friendship really cute, but now that he knew they were dating it was even sweeter. He smiled when the groupchat started to flood with random emojis and keyboard smashes from either end.

A notification popped up in his private chat with Eric, so he switched tabs.

**BABIE YOUNGJAE**

  * < hyung r ur parents home?
  * Yes why? >
  * < a ok nvm
  * < ill just hang @ sunoos place
  * Is your uncle giving you problems? >
  * You know you can come over if you need to >
  * < no it k i jst need a place to study properly
  * < maybe sleep there too
  * < ik ur parents get bothered when I spend the night
  * Theyre just concerned its ok >
  * I can convince them if you really need to stay >
  * < nah hyungii its fine im alr at sunoos driveway
  * < night see you tomo 💙💙
  * … >
  * Ok sleep well >
  * Be safe >



Sangyeon turned off his screen a moment before it turned on again with a last message from Eric.

  * < 💙💙💙



Their groupchat was still blowing up with random, incomprehensible things. Sangyeon smiled fondly at the fourth haircut monkey of the hour. He didn’t know what he would do if anything happened to these boys.


	2. Persecution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sangyeon,” Hyunjae hit him lightly on the arm, “Ignore them.”  
> “Oh, your boyfriend’s finally standing up for you huh?”  
> Hyunjae’s expression tightened, “He’s not my boyfriend.”  
> “Because if I were,” Sangyeon stood up to face them, “You’d be dead meat.”  
> “Sangyeon!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna be slightly heavier than the first chapter
> 
> i remember so many people tho

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Sangyeon wasn’t calling Younghoon a liar, but he had a hard time believing him about the teachers until PE class the next day.

They had just started their break after a preliminary basketball match, and Sangyeon handed Hyunjae his thermos before sipping from his own

One of their classmates called from across the gym, “Hey Jaehyun.”

Another snickered, “No man he’s Hyunjae remember?”

A third one added, “Because he’s got everything backwards.”

One of the classmates sitting with them groaned, “Fuck off man.”

“Please, we all know the reason why bitches like him so much,” One of the guys used the dodgeball to point at Hyunjae, “He’s one of them. Even plays like one of them.”

This happened a lot, in varying degrees. These three of their classmates always seemed to pull doctor’s notes out of their asses, just to sit aside and heckle their classmates who were playing, especially Hyunjae.

Only now, Sangyeon realized why.

“You talk like that and Hyunjae’s got it backwards?” He spat.

“Sangyeon,” Hyunjae hit him lightly on the arm, “Ignore them.”

“No,” He’d been ignoring them for years it seemed.

“Oh, your boyfriend’s finally standing up for you huh?”

Hyunjae’s expression tightened, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Because if I were,” Sangyeon stood up to face them, “You’d be dead meat.”

“Sangyeon!” Hyunjae’s ears went red.

The loudest guy, the one holding the ball, dropped it and grinned, “What, you gonna fight me?”

“Why would I?” Sangyeon suddenly felt like he was possessed by one of their other snarky friends, possibly Eric. He gestured at the guy’s shitty excuse of a doctor’s note on their teacher’s wheeled desk, “You seem to injure yourself just fine without my help.”

Hyunjae gaped at him.

The guy bristled, “You-”

“Oh sorry, you’re not injured, you’re sick,” Sangyeon read the slip before putting it back, “Great to know that being a dick is actually a recognized diagnosis now.”

A bunch of the class whooped lowly, and Hyunjae finally cracked a smile.

“Alright class, ready for the next round!” Their teacher called, taking one look at the situation before turning away. Some of their other classmates listened, but the guy didn’t move and neither did Sangyeon.

“I’m what? Go on say something clever,” Sangyeon really felt Eric’s blood running through his veins, “Surprise me.”

“Lee Sangyeon, Lee Jaehyun, please join the rest of the class.”

Sangyeon turned, “Have you been hearing what he’s been saying?”

Their teacher kept a schooled expression, “Other students have the right to voice their discomfort.”

“At what? At Hyunjae being infinitely better than them in every way? I would too if I didn’t have any redeeming traits.”

Hyunjae’s ears went even redder as he bent over laughing.

“Mr. Lee. That’s enough.”

“I agree, it is,” Hyunjae stood suddenly, grinning at Sangyeon and shouldering his bag, “Come on, let’s go.”

He ran. Sangyeon didn’t spare the class or their teacher a second glance before getting his own bag and running after Hyunjae out of the gym.

Hyunjae laughed the whole time they ran didn’t stop until they were at their usual eating spot. He sat on his knees and gasping.

“Holy fuck Sangyeon! Why did you do that?”

“I didn’t want him to get away with that.”

Hyunjae turned to face him, his ears still as red as a while ago, “You’ve never done it before.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? What?”

“That I’ve never done it before,” Sangyeon tugged Hyunjae out of the way as the janitor came with his cleaning cart, “I didn’t realize what their problem was until… yesterday.”

Hyunjae let out a sound between a sigh and a giggle, “There’s a reason I never said anything. You can’t just say things like that. It’ll get us into more trouble.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry,” Hyunjae smacked him on the arm, “I’m not mad at you. I was just scared that guy might punch you or something, I don’t give a shit about cutting class.”

Sangyeon frowned, “That’s not good.”

Hyunjae smiled at him, “Neither is swearing at people in front of a teacher.”

“He was swearing at you.”

“You know why he got away with it.”

“Yeah, and I hate it,” Sangyeon huffed, “I kind of wish he had punched me, he might have gotten in actual trouble.”

“Not unless you punched him back,” Hyunjae laughed, “You would have beat his ass.”

“I’d be performing an act of service.”

Hyunjae laughed even harder, “Who are you? What have you done to good sweet Sangyeon?”

“I’m still Sangyeon, I’m just angry.”

Hyunjae threw his arms around him, “That’s sexy and all, but I want soft Sangyeon back now.”

“Okay,” Sangyeon hugged him back, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, my mom didn’t raise a weak bitch,” Hyunjae propped his chin up on Sangyeon’s shoulder, “Thanks for… that.”

Sangyeon knew how much Hyunjae hated saying thank you, so he must have done something right, “Of course.”

“Buy me a milk?”

“Sure.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“So, basically,” Chanhee leaned back into Sangyeon’s side, after Hyunjae finished dramaticizing the events of the PE class, “Sangyeon sexy.”

“Sangyeon very sexy,” Hyunjae agreed, sipping from his strawberry milk.

“Straight guys don’t deserve rights but this hyung,” Sunwoo pointed at Sangyeon with his spoon, “He’s alright.”

“Guys stop,” Changmin leaned into Sangyeon’s other side and poked his reddening ears, “He’s overwhelmed by our homosexual affection.”

“Nah, I think he’s used to it by now,” Younghoon reached over Sangyeon to steal a bit of Chanhee’s meat, “What with him being our resident protector of the gays.”

“Thank you for your service to the community,” Haknyeon dropped a piece of bacon onto Sangyeon’s rice.

Sangyeon was just about to put in his mouth when Jacob jogged up to their circle, his uniform uncharacteristically messy and his hair sticking to his forehead.

Eric raised an eyebrow at him, “Love the wet look hyung.”

“What? Oh,” Jacob panted as he fixed his school tie, “Has Kevin been here?”

“No, why?”

Chanhee sat up off of Sangyeon, “Is something up?”

“He called me almost twenty times during the class before lunch but we were taking a test so my phone was on silent in my bag,” Jacob raked a hand through his hair and unlocked his phone, “I called him as soon as class ended and he hasn’t picked up.”

“Did he leave any texts?” Sangyeon asked as Changmin also eased off of him.

“No he didn’t. No voicemails either,” Jacob bit his lip.

Chanhee turned to Juyeon, “What class did his section have before lunch?”

“Um, Earth Sci? Wait no we had that,” Juyeon frowned, “I think our teachers swapped classes.”

“What class were you supposed to have?” Sunwoo asked.

“Theo.”

“Shit,” Chanhee gasped out, “They had the graded recit. today, didn’t they?”

There was a distinct silence following that, like a rubber band has just snapped, or a balloon had popped.

Or a gun had been fired.

“I’ll try calling him on my phone,” Hyunjae set his milk down.

This had only happened to them once before, and it had ended with them catching Kevin just as he was trying to jump the school fence and gotten his backpack tangled in the wire.

That had been a little bit funny. But this time felt very different.

“We should split up to look for him,” Sangyeon called, “Check each part of the school, maybe his classroom.”

“I already did. I ran a lap around the whole school.”

_The whole school?_ Sangyeon noticed that Jacob’s shoes and the edges of his slacks were flecked with dirt. He must have run across the whole field too.

“We’ll check the bathrooms around there, in case he went back,” Chanhee said, “Younghoon let’s go.”

“’Kay,”Younghoon and Chanhee darted down the corridor to their right.

Changmin unscrewed his water bottle, “Hyung have some water.”

Jacob panted and waved him away, “It’s fine.”

“You can’t help him if you pass out, sit down,” Hyunjae snapped, “He isn’t picking up with me either.”

“Where does he usually go when he wants to be alone?” Eric pulled Jacob to sit down beside him, “The roof deck right, or that corner in the library?”

Jacob was still panting as he sipped Changmin’s water, “Yeah. But the roof deck is locked.”

“You even ran up the stairs? Oh, hyung you’re insane,” Changmin stood and pulled his pants up, “I can go check the library.”

“Someone should check the gates to see if he tried to go home,” Sangyeon added as Changmin ran off.

“I can do that,” Sunwoo nodded before he took off running.

“I’ll come with you!” Haknyeon called as he ran after him.

“Do you think Father called him after class? Maybe that’s what happened,” Hyunjae made a point, the chaplain who taught the sophomores theology called people after class very often.

Jacob made a small sound of horror and had to spit his water back. Sangyeon and Eric patted him on the back.

“I’ll check the faculty areas,” Juyeon got up and grabbed his blazer off of his lunchbox.

Hyunjae looked up from his phone, “Check the chaplain’s office too.”

“Yup.”

“Hyung,” Eric pulled Jacob back onto the floor when he tried to get up and follow, “Take a breather first.”

“What if something happened to him?” Jacob let himself be pulled down.

“He’s probably just being dramatic or something,” Hyunjae laughed, “Don’t worry too much.”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Jacob all but snapped at him.

“He didn’t mean that,” Sangyeon said quickly, shooting Hyunjae a look, “Try calling Kevin’s house, maybe he already went home.”

“Wait don’t,” Jacob stopped Hyunjae’s hand.

Hyunjae groaned, “Do you want to find him or not?”

“Of course I do!” Jacob sighed.

“Then let me call his house!”

“But what if he’s just here, and we call his mom and make her worry?”

“Shouldn’t she be? Unless you agree that Kevin’s just being dramatic and we don’t actually—”

“Stop talking about him like that!” Jacob didn’t usually raise his voice, or cry, so seeing his eyes tear up so quickly made Sangyeon’s instincts kick in.

Sangyeon locked Hyunjae’s screen, “This isn’t helping. We just need to think of other places to look. Whether he’s here or at home, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Maybe he’s just somewhere crying and his phone died,” Eric rubbed Jacob’s back, “We’ll find him.”

Jacob wiped his eyes on his sleeve, “Okay, yeah. Sorry.”

The four of them stayed in the general area of the quadrangle, wating for news or looking around in the bathrooms nearby.

Five minutes before the end of lunchtime, Hyunjae started yelling after Sangyeon and Jacob, drawing a lot of other people’s eyes as he ran across the grass.

“Chanhee and Younghoon—”

“Where is he?” Jacob asked so quickly that he surprised Hyunjae.

“Third floor, in the PWD bathroom near the Physics Lab,” Eric replied, and Jacob darted off with Hyunjae at his heels, “You should go ahead hyung, I don’t think I’m up to climbing more stairs right now.”

Sangyeon frowned, “Why? Did you get injured?”

“At home, it’s fine,” Eric insisted.

“But—”

“I’ll tell you later.”

Sangyeon frowned, but nodded.

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

It was when he was lying in bed later in the evening that he realized Eric never got around to explaining himself. He couldn’t blame him though; the afternoon had been pretty distracting.

Kevin had been crying so hard that he managed to fall asleep in the bathroom, which is why he wasn’t picking up any of their calls. He’d just woken up when Chanhee and Younghoon were passing by the bathroom. They’d both yelled so loudly that Kevin got scared and started crying again.

By the time he had arrived behind Jacob, Kevin was able to talk and tell them what happened in class. Sangyeon still didn’t understand most of what he said, but he got that Kevin was put on the spot, and asked about the place of “non-conforming homosexuals” in the church.

“And then he said ‘ _But if men marry men and women marry women, then who will produce the children of the next generation of Christians?’”_ Kevin sniffled, “And I was like _‘Thankfully not you’.”_

Sangyeon could only imagine what the chaplain’s face had looked like then. They had all busted out laughing, not caring if someone heard them up there instead of the respective classes that they were skipping. 

Kevin continued, “Then he started saying the normal shit, you know. Monstrosity, possessed by some demon, going to hell if I’m not cleansed.”

Hyunjae scoffed “That’s rich coming from him. Man doesn’t look like he takes showers.”

“Maybe he bathes in Holy Water, and he has to reuse it,” Changmin snickered, “Yeah anyway, he has no idea what he’s talking about, you know.”

“I know. I dunno why I’m not used to it by now,” Kevin mumbled.

Jacob frowned, tucking a bit of Kevin’s hairs behind his ears, “You should never be. That’s persecution Keb.”

“ _Persecution_ ,” Kevin smiled and leaned into Jacob, who hadn’t let go of Kevin since they found him, “I’m going to be crucified.”

Younghoon scoffed, “Don’t flatter yourself you’re not that influential.”

“Younghoon!”

“What? Jesus was only crucified because a shitton of people were convinced.”

“Not at you using convinced and converted interchangeably,” Kevin laughed, “You’re gonna take that back when I’m famous and hella influential.”

“Assuming you don’t forget us when you’re famous.”

“Why would I? I love you guys!” Kevin wiped his eyes on Jacob’s shirt sleeve, “Sorry for stressing you out.”

“It’s okay,” Jacob kissed the top of his head.

“We’re used to it,” Sunwoo mumbled.

“Sunwoo!”

“Is he wrong though?”

“I take it back, you guys all suck. Jacob you’re the only one for me.”

“Guess that means you don’t want a Sangyeon hug,” Sangyeon pouted, and Kevin gasped.

“NO! Yes I want a Sangyeon hug! I’m tired, I’ve been persecuted!” Kevin ejected himself from Jacob’s lap and into Sangyeon’s chest, effectively knocking the air out of him.

“Yes you have,” Sangyeon patted him on the head.

His friends had always said he gave the best hugs. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was wider than a lot of them, or if he had a naturally warm body temperature, but he took pride in that.

“Hyung you’re so lucky you’re straight.”

He stopped patting him for a moment in surprise, “Um, I guess I am, yeah.”

He looked up at the others, but it seemed like nobody thought much of what Kevin said.

Or maybe they just all agreed.


	3. Impostor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lord God,_ Sangyeon prayed silently, _Were it not for the sanctuary of this chapel or Your ten commandments, I would have disemboweled this man._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on some real shit priests/teachers have said to me n my friends in private, and some in front of our batchmates. this chapter is basically me finding my high school meditation notes and being absolutely horrified
> 
> if not comfortable with straight up homophobic language or if u get triggered by oppressively twisted religious teachings pls just dont read its fine dont do this to yourself go to the next chapter

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“Guys?”

Haknyeon’s icon popped up in the corner of his screen, _“Yeah hyung?”_

“Am I very straight?”

Hyunjae’s voice blasted through his standing mic _., “Oh, are we still on this?”_

Younghoon laughed, _“Yeah dude, very straight.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“It’s not a bad thing,”_ Sunwoo added, voice fuzzy from his beat-up headset mic. _“Because you’re a good person. Being straight is only bad when you’re a bad person.”_

_“Yeah… wait what?”_ Juyeon asked just as the game started.

**_Impostor_ **

_“I’m confu—”_

_“Juyeon mute we’re starting.”_

With Jacob and Kevin “busy” for the night (Sangyeon finally understood what they meant by that,) there were just enough of them left for a good game. But things moved much faster, as they always did when either Eric or Sunwoo was one of the imposters.

Eric’s red name flashed past him as he killed Chanhee before Sangyeon could reach him.

_Leave some for me_ , Sangyeon thought as he sped out of the room to avoid suspicion.

**_BODY REPORTED_ **

_“Fuck they killed four?”_ Hyunjae groaned as Chanhee, Juyeon, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo’s charcters were crossed out.

Changmin laughed _, “What kind of X games mode ass—”_

_younghoon vent,_ Eric typed into the chat.

_“I did NOT!”_ Younghoon gasped, _“Chanhee back me up here.”_

“He can’t, dead men tell no tales,” Sangyeon snickered.

_“I think it was Eric though?”_ Juyeon mumbled.

_“Juyeon mute! You’re dead!”_ Sangyeon could hear Hyunjae roll his eyes.

Sangyeon laughed, “Alright, since there’s still booth impostors left, we’re dead if we vote out the wrong one. So Younghoon or Eric?”

_“I think Eric,”_ Changmin said, _“Juyeon’s already dead, he’s probably not lying.”_

_“The bitch is dead we’re not supposed to listen to him,”_ Hyunjae declared as his vote went in, _“Younghoon.”_

_“Bitch.”_

“I’m gonna go with Younghoon too,” Sangyeon tapped on him, “Because I trust Eric.”

_aw tnx hyung_

_“Fuck you guys, seriously. Not even in the sexy way just FUCK YOU.”_

The votes piled onto Younghoon, and Sangyeon fully expected the game to be over once Younghoon was ejected. He was surprised when they all ended up in the meeting room again.

_yungjae has left the game._

_“Oh, why’d he leave?”_

_“Don’t know. Sangyeon let’s gang up on Changmin.”_

_“What? Why me?”_

“No thanks,” Sangyeon laughed, killing Hyunjae on the spot.

_Victory_

_“No!”_

_“You idiots!”_ Chanhee yelled the moment his mic unmuted.

Younghoon cackled, _“That’s what you get for killing me.”_

_“How did you guys kill people so fast?”_ Haknyeon asked.

“Eric was the one who killed three. I just killed you,” Sangyeon replied, opening the groupchat.

papa ttangyeon

  * Eric you still there?



☀woo

  * yall won btw ngrats >:|



babiejae 🐣

  * oo nice nice
  * smthn jus came upp
  * cnat play nymor



🦎Qq🦎

  * Hmmm sounds sus



yunghoon’s🍆

  * is it hw
  * why is my nickname like this



new’s🥒

  * ;)



papa ttangyeon

  * do u need help with it?



babiejae 🐣

  * nah jus need 2 move some stuff
  * u guys go play



😳😳😳

  * okie gl and gn



papa ttangyeon

  * Be careful of your ankle



☀woo

  * y wats w his ankl?



babiejae 🐣

  * nothin :) nite guys



_I’ll tell you later._ Maybe later wasn’t today. Later was just whenever Eric was ready to talk about it.

Or maybe Sangyeon was worrying too much.

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

That Thursday brought Sangyeon one of the strangest experiences he’d ever had.

“Cob? You’re shaking.”

“Are you cold?” Hyunjae asked, gesturing for Sangyeon to offer his jacket.

“No, I’m fine,” Jacob whispered, his fingers twitching uncharacteristically, “I just want to get out of here.”

They were at a batch-wide mediation session with the school chaplain. Sangyeon figured Jacob had every right to be mad at the priest, he knew _he_ was, but he’d never been able to picture Jacob shaking with anger until he saw it.

Sangyeon zoned back in on the meditation’s topic, in case they were required to write a reflection paper on it.

_“ …As seniors set to go to college soon, you’ll soon come into contact with the world outside of this school. People out there will not be as kind, welcoming, and nurturing as we are… ”_

“Jacob,” Younghoon whispered a little loudly, “You’re shaking the whole pew.”

Jacob huffed and stopped bouncing his leg, “Sorry. Sorry.”

Sangyeon was seated next to Jacob so he felt even more of the shaking than Hyunjae did. But he looked at Jacob and decided not to comment.

_“The things the adults have taught you in this school, those values must remain with you always. The people you will encounter in college are far worse than you can imagine. People in gangs, terrorists, addicts, atheists—”_

“Atheists right up there with the addicts,” Younghoon snorted.

“Shut up you’re so loud,” Hyunjae hissed, then frowned, “Jacob you ookay? Seriously look like you’re going to explode.”

Jacob didn’t reply, staring dead ahead to the altar.

_“Your job, as the next generation of the Church is to be true soldiers of Christ. To defend the faith against those who attack it, and to spread the faith to those who are in need of it. Which is, the whole human race, especially those of other faith, living immoral lives according to their own rules or those of a false god,” The priest looked up at them from the speech on his phone, “In fact, there are people in very school who do so. The batch just before you had a student practicing Buddhism, a cult practice that has dared to label itself as religion—"_

At that point, Sangyeon decided the meditation was not worth taking notes. Though he felt he should have known that from the beginning. He looked down as he tucked away his pad of paper and noticed how white Jacob’s knuckles were as his hands curled into fists.

He tapped on one of his hands. Jacob turned to him, and Sangyeon tried for a reassuring smiled as he mouthed _Twenty minutes left._

Jacob nodded and gave him a small, tight smile, before turning back to the altar and bouncing his leg again.

_“—A more recent example of these dreadful, sinful practices happened only a few days ago. Perhaps some of you have heard. One of your juniors, who has been under very close guidance of the teachers has, unfortunately, committed himself to a homosexual lifestyle.”_

Hyunjae shushed Younghoon the moment he opened his mouth. But Sangyeon wasn’t worrying about Younghoon when he felt the shaking of the pew double as Jacob’s leg practically rattled.

“I knew he was going to mention him,” Jacob mumbled, “He always shares anecdotes from classes so I figured—”

_“Moon Hyungseo was his name, I believe.”_

Sangyeon felt like a plug of his brain had been pulled.

“Holy shit,” Hyunjae let out something between a laugh and a gasp, “He said his fucking name.”

“He’s never name-dropped before,” Younghoon said, not caring that he was almost at normal talking volume.

A few of their batchmates looked their way, knowing they were friends. Some even knowing that Jacob and Kevin were dating.

_“Your teachers have been concerned with him for a long time. After all, homosexuals, those experience strange sexual tendencies, are not rejected by the Church. They are our brothers and sisters in Christ, so it is part of our mission to bring them back to the light. But once they have committed homosexual acts, and engaged in the gay lifestyle, it is doubtful that they can still be saved.”_

Sangyeon moved closer to Jacob, seating rules be damned, and took his hand. Jacob didn’t look at him, but he squeezed back. From Jacob’s other side, Hyunjae scooted closer as discreetly as he could and took Jacob’s other hand. Younghoon put a hand on Jacob’s knee and rubbed it.

_“In our graded recitation on Tuesday, he openly admitted to such. Saying he was even engaging in homosexual acts with a partner, he called it a happy relationship, if you would believe it.”_

“That idiot,” Hyunjae sighed.

Jacob squeezed Sangyeon’s hand even tighter.

_“I tell you now, that as the Lord would have it, no homosexual union will ever be truly fulfilling. It is not love, and will never be equal to the conjugal bond between a man and woman in marriage. But your junior Hyungseo insisted that is was possible, that he was very much in love,”_ the chaplain laughed.

A few short-lived laughed echoed through the chapel at the priest’s attempt at a joke. Sangyeon wasn’t sure if he actually saw it, but the chaplain’s gaze seemed to land on the four of them, Jacob in particular.

Of course the teachers knew, anyone with eyes could have guessed after seeing Kevin and Jacob together. Thankfully, the priest looked away from them as he continued.

_“How foolish of him, truly. Please note, dear students, that while experimenting with such relationships may give you pleasure, laying in bed with another man will not bring you joy. If the Lord had intended such for you, he would have given you a vagina and breasts for child bearing.”_

Jacob looked like he was either about to launch himself forward or throw up, and Sangyeon didn’t feel very different.

_“It is these kinds of people, homosexuals, who are with and of the devil, and may try to tempt you away for God’s love. While you must resist their tests, you mustn’t give up on them in any way. Try to lead brothers like Hyungseo to the light, as your teachers of this school have for many years.”_

Years. This had been going on for years. This on Kevin and all of his friends, why had he never noticed it? How could he not?

_“But at the same time, watch for your own soul and your own grace. If it so happened that a homosexual man is so set in his belief, in his false version of love until the end of time, perhaps he cannot be redeemed. Perhaps only direct power from God above can save him. Perhaps a blast, to put him out of the misery of his life of sin, no?”_

There was another bout of laughs and Sangyeon felt his blood boil. This was sick, everything about it. Who were they to question anyone else’s love? Anything that could make any one of them cry enough to pass out was evil. It was evil.

“Sangyeon, my hand.”

Sangyeon blinked, realizing he’d gripped Jacob’s hand so tightly that the tips of his fingers had gone purple-ish, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jacob managed a strained smile.

Jacob let go of Sangyeon’s hand, took a breath, and made the sign of the cross. He closed his eyes and prayed calmly, like he always did when he got vaguel irritated or close to swearing. Except now he wasn’t calm, his brow and nose scrunched and his leg still bounced.

Sangyeon had always admired Jacob’s sheer patience with everything. So anything horrible enough to make Jacob this mad was evil.

_Lord God,_ Sangyeon prayed silently, _Were it not for the sanctuary of this chapel or Your ten commandments, I would have disemboweled this man. Please give Jacob and the rest of us the fortitude to finish the last ten minutes of this meditation._

As their luck would have it, the priest extended past their lunch dismissal. Younghoon and Hyunjae looked ready to bolt as soon as the priest had said the ending prayer, but all three of them ended up waiting for a little longer when Jacob stayed kneeling. When Jacob made the sign of the cross and sat, he stared at the space in front of him and sighed. None of them made any motion to leave.

Sangyeon was surprised when Jacob was the first to speak, “I love him.”

“Yeah we know,” Younghoon pouted when Hyunjae hit him, “What? I meant that as a good thing. When everyone knows who you love it means you’re real about it.”

“Shut up you bit-” Hyunjae looked up at the altar “-big idiot.”

“It’s true though,” Sangyeon chuckled softly, patting Jacob on the shoulder, “We all know. Heck, I knew it before I even knew you guys were gay.”

Jacob hummed, “I just don’t want him to forget I do. What if they’re still like this to him after we graduate? What if he’s not able to move out?”

“Jacob,” Hyunjae reached over and took his hand again, “Kevin can definitely get into another school. His grades aren’t that high but if he’s gunning for an arts school, he’ll be fine.”

“And he’s not going to forget,” Younghoon added, “That you love him or whatever. He stayed in this school for you—”

“For all of us.”

“Bullsh-“ Younghoon glanced at the altar, “-Bullets. You know it was mostly for you.”

“Kevin makes a lot of bad decisions,” Sangyeon added, trying not to laugh at his friends’ vain attempts not to swear in the chapel, “But he wouldn’t do that unless he believed you loved him back, would he?”

Jacob finally smiled, “I guess not.”

“Jesus you guys are disgusting,” Younghoon groaned, then frowned, “I mean, sorry Jesus, didn’t mean to… in your house and all.”

Hyunjae stood, “I think we’ve offended the Lord enough for a day. C’mon, I’m hungry.”

“Yep,” Sangyeon stood and pulled Jacob up with him, “You’ve got a grumpy boyfriend waiting for you.”

“Soulmate,” Jacob corrected him, earning another groaned from Hyunjae and Younghoon.

Those two didn’t say anything though, when Jacob made a beeline for Kevin the moment they’d gotten their lunches together. Hyunjae was the one shushing their friends who tried to tease Jacob being especially touchy. Younghoon and Sangyeon kept exchanging smiles whenever Kevin fed Jacob a mouthful of his lunch.

_“If you’re looking for some young gay love, don’t ask me. Ask Jacob and Kevin.”_

He didn’t get it yet, how any of their relationships worked, or how they knew the difference between being friends and being in love. God only knows what one would call Younghoon and Chanhee’s thing. But Sangyeon was sure that whatever was going on in front of him at that moment was real.

“Yeah yeah you can have all of my omelette,” Kevin passed his container to Jacob, “It’s just ham and cheese, and I didn’t put ketchup on it yet.”

Jacob smiled, “Love you Keb.”

“Love you too,” Kevin patted Jacob on the head. Then he caught Sangyeon looking and blushed down to his neck.

_Definitely real,_ Sangyeon laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u know of anyone who has had these things said to them or if you've heard them urself, lemme just say:  
>  _Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven._ (Mt 5:10-11)
> 
> i meant that as a joke but if u want to take it seriously go ahead ur loved <3  
> i hope u guys are still enjoying this i swear the next chapter is a lot more fun


	4. fucking around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You owe us this, you don’t get an opinion.”  
> “Wh- can’t I do something else so we’re even? I can sit in your lap?  
> Changmin snorted, “Uh, no thanks.”  
> “I can lick ice cream off your face?”
> 
> Chanhee came closer and patted Juyeon on the knee, “Juyeon honey, licking your face was a fucking trial. You can carry the bags too on the way to the bus and then we’ll be even.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit more rushed than usual but i was just so overcome with FEELINGS i had to post it  
> please excuse any and all typos, and if i accidentally switched people names uh NO i DIDNt

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“Happy Friday,” Haknyeon smiled as he dropped some of his bacon onto everyone’s lunches.

“Oh thank god.”

Juyeon immediately picked up his piece and stuffed it into a mouthful of rice, “Your bacon is the best I swear.”

“Straight from the big G man himself,” Changmin said.

“The bacon of Christ,” Kevin raised his piece reverently before putting it in Jacob’s mouth.

“Amen,” Jacob laughed.

“I’ll tell my mom that, she’ll love it,” Haknyeon looked over Sangyeon’s shoulder and waved, “Eric! I have Friday bacon!”

Sangyeon turned just in time to see Eric freeze up when everyone looked at him. He didn’t say anything, face blank as he sat between Haknyeon and Juyeon, far across his usual place beside Sunwoo. He took the bacon with his hands and grunted a thank you at Haknyeon

Hyunjae looked at Eric’s hands, “Do you not have a container?”

“Forgot,” Eric muttered

“So, you don’t have lunch?” Jacob removed the partition of his container and dumped some of his spam into it, “Here.”

Sangyeon loaded his container lid with rice. He always brought four cups of rice in case the others needed more (though on most days he could finish by himself just fine). He passed it to Eric, who only nodded before taking it and setting it down beside his spam and bacon.

Sangyeon and the others watched in relative silence as Eric wolfed down the food they gave him. It was weird to see, knowing that Eric usually refused to pick food off the floor, let alone eat with his hands.

“Someone’s hungry today,” Kevin offered him a tissue and Jacob’s spoon. Eric looked up and blinked like he hadn’t noticed how messy he was being.

“It’s like you haven’t eaten in days,” Juyeon remarked, laughing lightly and trying to brush Eric’s hair out of his face.

Eric shrugged and continued shoveling food into his mouth. Eventually, the others were able to talked over him again.

Sangyeon was still looking at him, but his attention was snapped when Changmin called his name, “Sangyeon hyung what about you?”

“Huh? Sorry I spaced out.”

“He was asking you could come with us to go shopping,” Chanhee filled, “Juyeon owes clothes us for scaring his mom’s latest girl away.”

“Oh,” It was a normal thing to them that Juyeon’s parents set him up with random dates almost every month. Sangyeon now realized this was probably in a vain attempt to make him straight.

“What did you do to her this time?” Hyunjae asked, sipping his (once again Sangyeon-bought) strawberry milk.

“I sat on Juyeon’s lap during the whole movie,” Changmin grinned.

“And Chanhee licked ice cream off of my face,” Juyeon reported.

Younghoon choked on his yoghurt, “Chanhee did what?”

“Licked cream off his face, with my tongue,” Chanhee spat, a little more venomously than usual.

Younghoon scoffed, “Why?”

Chanhee glared at him, “To get the girl off his ass. Got a problem with that?”

Younghoon returned the glare with more heat than necessary, “Uh, yes. It’s gross and he’s our friend.”

“It was a _favor_ ,” Chanhee said the word like it was a curse, “Because that’s what friends do right? _Favors_ for each other.”

“It’s still gross of you.”

Chanhee slammed his jug down, making all of them jump, “Why do you care? You’re not my boyfriend.”

Any side conversations the others were having stopped as soon as Chanhee said that. Younghoon’s mouth snapped shut. Wordlessly, Younghoon slid all of his stuff into his bag and stood.

Chanhee rolled his eyes, “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Why do I need to tell you?” Younghoon shot back, “You’re not my boyfriend.”

“I’m your friend.”

“Then do me a _favor_ and shut the fuck up.”

It was Chanhee’s turn to stare as Younghoon stuck his yoghurt straw into his mouth and walked away. They all watched his figure disappear down the hallway before anyone spoke again.

“What was that?” Haknyeon frowned.

Eric replied at the most normal volume any of them had heard him speak in all day, “Denial.”

Chanhee snorted, leaning back into Changmin before looking at Sangyeon, “Anyway. Our parents won’t let us go to the mall today unless we have either you or Jacob-hyung with us.”

“And Jacob’s busy,” Kevin said quickly. Jacob smiled and nodded.

Changmin leaned forward, “Please hyung? We’ll only shop until five so you don’t have to keep your parents waiting.”

“You can buy something too if you want,” Chanhee added, “Juyeon’s got a lot of money.”

Sangyeon laughed, “Okay, okay I’ll go. And we can stay a little past five if you want, my parents aren’t home for the weekend.”

“Nice,” Changmin and Chanhee hi-fived.

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Sangyeon had been out with his friends many times before, so he could definitely understand why Chanhee and Changmin’s parents didn’t want them loose in the mall by themselves. The pair of them dug through the department store sale racks and piles like woodland creatures trying to burrow a day before the winter. He and Juyeon tried to check the price tags of things they dropped into their two baskets, but they got tired after a while and sat on the benches of the shoe section.

“How does this look hyungie?” Changmin ran up to them with an oversized button down over his t-shirt, “Do I look cute?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sangyeon blinked at the gaudy orange, “It’s nice?”

“I told you that orange wasn’t it,” Chanhee laughed, gesturing grandly at what he was wearing, “What about this?”

Sangyeon was still confused about what had happened at lunch, but Chanhee seemed much happier now, so he was relieved, “It’s a nice shade of pink.”

“It’s salmon, but yeah it does look nice on me,” Chanhee posed in the mirror next to them.

“It’s the same color as what I’m wearing isn’t it?”

“No,” Chanhee, Juyeon, and Sangyeon replied at the same time

Changmin frowned, “Oh.”

“I told you you were colorblind or something,” Chanhee took his button down off and dropped it into his basket, “Come on, let’s get you in something nicer.”

Juyeon sighed, “Why are you asking hyung’s opinion and not mine? I’m paying for these.”

“You owe us this, you don’t get an opinion.”

“Wh- can’t I do something else so we’re even? I can sit in your lap?

Changmin snorted, “Uh, no thanks.”

“I can lick ice cream off your face?”

Chanhee came closer and patted Juyeon on the knee, “Juyeon honey, licking your face was a fucking trial. You can carry the bags too on the way to the bus and then we’ll be even.”

Changmin and Chanhee laughed as they walked back over to the marked down racks of the department store.

“Hyung please tell me you’re not buying anything,” Juyeon frowned at the overfilled baskets at their feet.

“I’m not,” Sangyeon reassured him, “And don’t worry, they’re only looking in the sale section.”

“You don’t save anything buying shirts for 1000 won if you’re just going to buy a hundred.”

Juyeon jumped at the sudden voice, and Sangyeon whipped around to find Younghoon standing behind them. His face was hidden under a cap and mask as if he was some sort of celebrity, but it was definitely him.

“What are you doing here?” Sangyeon almost laughed.

“You guys are hanging out and I wanted to join. We’re friends aren’t we?”

“Chanhee’s not going to like that,” Juyeon muttered.

Younghoon scoffed, “Well he’ll have to deal with it. Not like he can stay mad at me forever.”

“Try me.”

It was Younghoon turn to jump when Chanhee all but appeared behind him, shoving him aside to drop a pair of pink socks into the basket.

“Chanhee, come on.”

Chanhee glared at him, “Do you expect me to forgive you if you don’t apologize?”

“What’s there to apologize for?”

“Are you serious?” Changmin dumped a red Hawaiian shirt into his basket and glared at Younghoon (though he was significantly less intimidating than Chanhee while he was wearing a fluffy headband he was planning to buy.)

“Okay, guys,” Sangyeon stood and stepped between the three of them, “I think you’ve bought enough for Juyeon’s extension card to handle. Let’s go line up at the cashier?”

“Yeah, please,” Juyeon pleaded, picking up the baskets.

Younghoon slung a hand over Chanhee’s shoulders, “I’ll buy you a milk tea?”

Chanhee shoved his arm off so hard that he hit the shoe rack beside him, “Fuck off.”

“What is your problem?”

“You know exactly what my problem is.”

“I… No, I don’t.”

“Really? Then you’re an idiot and you’re wasting my time, move,” Chanhee shoved Younghoon aside and took his basket away from Juyeon.

“Chanhee—"

“Don’t _Chanhee_ me.”

“That’s your name, stupid.”

“Oh, _I’m_ stupid?” Chanhee stepped forward.

“Chanhee come on,” Changmin grabbed Changmin by the arm and mouthed as Sangyeon urgently _Take Younghoon._

_What? Me?_

_Yes you,_ Changmin mouthed, then plastered on a smile as he and Juyeon held Chanhee back with the baskets, “Let’s just go.”

“I’m not done with him—"

“Younghoon,” Sangyeon caught him by the arm. Younghoon looked equally ready to launch himself at Chanhee, “Let’s walk.”

“But—”

“Let’s walk.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“He’s so annoying,” Younghoon kicked one of the stones on the pavement into a drain, “I mean we already agreed on this. Why he being such a bitch about it?”

Sangyeon tried to figure out what he was talking about, “Is this about you keeping it secret? That you’re dating? Or did you break up?”

Younghoon stared at him, “Sangyeon we’re not dating!”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s the whole point! We’re not ‘dating’,” Younghoon threw up air quotes the same way that Chanhee often did, “We agreed not to be official so it wouldn’t be weird. And so that we’d still be friends in case we decided to stop fucking—”

Sangyeon stopped walking, “You’ve fucked?”

“ _Fucking around_ ,” Younghoon hit him on the arm, “We’ve not fucked yet.”

“Yet?”

“It’s going to happen, once he gets over this beef he has with me suddenly.”

Sangyeon’s brain managed to catch up with the conversation, “So you agreed to be fuckbuddies without the fucking?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“That sounds like dating to me?”

“It’s not, we’re really just friends, who happen to make out from time to time,” Younghoon said, then in a softer voice he added, “You wouldn’t get it.”

He didn’t. But they were his friends, he had to try.

“What I _do_ get is that he likes you.”

“So he says.”

“Chanhee doesn’t make out with just anybody,” Sangyeon said so because he could name a few people in their group who did.

Not that he _wanted_ to name them, but he could.

“I don’t know, he seems just fine licking ice cream off of just anyone’s face—”

“And he’s right that you don’t get to be jealous of that unless you’re his boyfriend,” Sangyeon knew it was only a matter of time before Younghoon cracked, he was never good at hiding anything.

“I feel what I want to, he can’t control that.”

 _Ah there it is,_ “So what do you feel about him?”

Younghoon seemed to realize he was cornered. He glared at Sangyeon for a bit before sighing.

“Fine, I like him too.”

“Enough to date him?”

“Maybe.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“You wouldn’t ge—“

“I’ve dated people before,” Sangyeon had dated exactly one girl before that conversation, but neither of them mentioned it, “I had liked them and they had liked me back. That’s the only reason you need to start dating someone. I’m sure it’s the same for anyone.”

Younghoon didn’t reply, so Sangyeon continued.

“And with both of your families being okay with it, and all of our friends expecting it, that’s all it boils down to isn’t it? You just have to…” Sangyeon figured it was Younghoon’s least favorite word, but, “… _Admit_ it to each other.”

“I don’t know if I want to admit it to myself,” Younghoon groaned, dropping onto one of the ledges, “Jesus that was so cheesy forget I said anything.”

Sangyeon bit back a laugh, “Well, if you don’t want to for yourself, at least admit it for Chanhee. This isn’t fair to him.”

“Yeah it isn’t. I don’t know, it’s just embarrassing--”

“What embarrassing about liking Chanhee?” Sangyeon felt weirdly defensive at that.

“Nothing! I mean he’s hot and he’s smart and, uh he’s great. But the others have been betting on us for years and I don’t want to… let them win? I guess.”

“Younghoon, what’s more important? Hyunjae’s money, or Chanhee’s feelings?”

Younghoon realized he was cornered again, and just nodded.

Sangyeon nodded too, “Then I really don’t see what your problem is.”

“Probably because there’s no problem? It’s just me.”

“Exactly.”

Younghoon blinked, then smiled, “You know, that was really gay of you.”

Sangyeon frowned, “Was it?”

“I mean, I’m not saying only gay people can give love advice but—”

“It’s not love advice, I’m just telling you to get your head out of your ass.”

Younghoon busted out laughing in surprise. Sangyeon found himself smiling, surprised at himself too.

“Why are you such a bitch? Are we rubbing off on you?”

“Maybe,” Sangyeon shrugged, then pushed Younghoon by the arm, “Go fix mess the mess you made.”

“Yeah.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Changmin waved them over from outside the department store to where he, Chanhee, and Juyeon were standing.

Chanhee and Younghoon seemed to make eye contact before looking away quickly.

“Can we go home now, please?” Juyeon whined, “Buying you guys dinner wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Yeah I should get you guys home,” Sangyeon laughed.

Chanhee put his phone back into his pocket, “Great, let’s go—”

“Actually,” Younghoon cleared his throat, “Uh, Chanhee?”

Juyeon, Changmin, and Sangyeon exchanged nervous glances.

Chanhee huffed, “What.”

“Do you want to go out for dinner?”

Chanhee stopped frowning in surprise, “What?”

“My treat,” Younghoon patted his pocket.

Chanhee crossed his arms, “Why the fuck are you buying me dinner?”

Younghoon looked at Sangyeon, who nodded encouragingly.

“Because I’m trying to be a good boyfriend?”

Juyeon almost dropped their shopping bags, “BOYFRIEND?”

“Boyfriend?!” Changmin squealed, grabbing Sangyeon’s arm.

“Boyfriend,” Chanhee said, sounding out of breath.

“Boyfriend,” Younghoon nodded, them smiled, “Only if you want.”

Chanhee squinted at Younghoon, then glanced at the others before finally breaking into a smile.

“Okay.”

Sangyeon and Younghoon both let out a breath.

Younghoon stepped closer to Chanhee, “Okay to dinner? Or to the boyfriend thing?”

“Guess,” Chanhee laughed.

And then he ran forward and kissed Younghoon.

With tongue.

In the middle of the mall, with at least a dozen people starting to look. After almost a minute, Juyeon and Sangyeon started to shift where they were standing.

“This is getting weird,” Juyeon frowned as Chanhee started making sounds, “Should we separate them?”

“Let them have it,” Changmin laughed as he snapped another picture and sent it to their groupchat.

“Okay,” Sangyeon said loudly as soon as Younghoon’s hands started to wander, “We’ll get going now if you guys are set for dinner and stuff?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Younghoon smiled.

“Chanhee what about your stuff?” Juyeon shook the bags on his arms.

“I’ll get them from you guys on Monday,” Chanhee replied, not looking away from Younghoon.

“But—”

“Sure! No problem! Bye guys have fun!” Changmin smiled all to widely and looked pointedly at Chanhee, “Tell me everything!”

“Alright, let’s go before your parents get mad,” Sangyeon grabbed the two of them by the arms and turned them toward the street turning back to look at Younghoon and Chanhee.

Chanhee was now talking about something or the other, Sangyeon could almost hear him from how far they had walked. But he was just close enough to see Younghoon over Chanhee’s head, mouthing a toothy _Thank you,_ at him.

Sangyeon smiled all the way to his bed that night.


	5. sunday (m)ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello.”  
> “Hey hyung! Need a ride to mass?”  
> As usual, Eric was far too energetic for a morning, “Oh, I was just going to bike—”  
> “Well now you don’t have to!” Eric laughed, “I knew your parents would be out with the car this weekend!  
> “Eric seriously it’s okay—”  
> “Hyung,” Eric laughed again, but this time it sounded a lot more nervous, “You should have just asked!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said five chapters but ahahahahah lmao this last one was at least 4k 
> 
> *olivia rodrigo voice* _you said five chapters now I sit here waiting for six_
> 
> stream driver's license

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Sangyeon woke up on Sunday to his phone ringing. It was the ringtone he had set specifically for his friends. This was probably the tenth time this weekend alone; the first four times were Younghoon and Chanhee arguing over some thing or the other trying to get Sangyeon to side with one of them (he’d ended up suggesting an alternate that they both agreed to every time). The fifth and sixth time had been Hyunjae asking for answers for their English homework, before both of them decided to just call Jacob. Unfortunately, Kevin had been somewhat removing Jacob’s shirt when he had accidentally answered their video call, so the seventh call of the weekend was Jacob apologizing. The eighth had been Juyeon’s butt dial. And the ninth was Changmin, telling him he had baked cookies and was going to bring him some when they saw each other at Sunday mass.

This tenth time was Eric.

“Hello.”

_“Hey hyung! Need a ride to mass?”_

As usual, Eric was far too energetic for a morning, “Oh, I was just going to bike—”

 _“Well now you don’t have to!”_ Eric laughed, _“I knew your parents would be out with the car this weekend!_

“Eric seriously it’s okay—”

 _“Hyung,”_ Eric laughed again, but this time it sounded a lot more nervous, _“You should have just asked!”_

It was weird, but Sangyeon picked up on what he was trying to say, _please say yes,_ for whatever reason.

“Uh, okay, sure, if your uncle’s okay with it?”

 _“Of course he is,”_ He could hear Eric let out a breath, _“We’ll pick you up in 10 minutes?”_

Sangyeon looked down at his boxers, “Sure.”

Sangyeon scrambled out of bed and wore one of his nicer button ups, and his jeans from last Sunday. He remembered they were a gift from Kevin. He distinctly remembered asking what they were made of, and Kevin had replied “Boyfriend material.”

It seemed almost everything he did revolved around his friends; it was amazing that he hadn’t figured out that they were gay. Amazingly dense, on his end.

A van pulled up into the driveway and Eric came running up to him as soon as Sangyeon locked the front door behind him.

“Hyungie!” Eric threw his arms around Sangyeon’s shoulders and squeezed him tightly, “Thank you so much.”

“You’re the one giving me a ride.”

“No, you’re doing me a favor, seriously,” Eric smiled, but he didn’t sound so chipper anymore. He glanced back at his uncle in the car.

His uncle sat tapping the steering wheel to something playing on the radio. He looked just like Sangyeon remembered him; balding slightly, with his face almost always in a permanent scowl, and eyes tilted like a glare.

“I just didn’t want to be alone with him today,” Eric gave Sangyeon puppy eyes, making him seriously doubt that the two were related, “I would have called Sunwoo but his grandma’s staying with them.”

“It’s okay, happy to help,” Eric usually spared his friends the details, but he let them know his uncle was very, very conservative. At the same time, he was Eric’s only guardian since his parents were in the states. Some days it was bearable, other days had Eric staying in one of their houses, usually Sunwoo’s or Sangyeon’s, for hours at a time, “Did anything happen in particular?”

Eric shrugged and took Sangyeon by the arm and led him to the car, “Just didn’t want to be alone. Also, you’re like catnip to adults.”

“You’re talking as if you don’t like me too.”

“Of course I do!” Eric hit him playfully on the arm. They got to the car, and Eric opened the door, “Uncle, Sangyeon’s here!”

“Good to see you sir,” Sangyeon smiled politely.

“Ah,” His uncle turned, his stern expression only lightening slightly as he saw Sangyeon, “Good, good.”

The drive started out almost peaceful, with Eric’s uncle only asking Sangyeon questions: where his parents were (at a wedding he wasn’t invited to,) what year he was in, and what he was planning to take for college. But Eric was still tense the whole time, just waiting for someone to cross the line and the conversation to go terribly wrong.

Sangyeon figured he knew how to cater to adults well enough.

“I’m undecided, it would really depend on what school I’m accepted to. But engineering, or creative writing as a pre law are among my top options,” He replied, masterfully leaving out the fact that he had applied for _sound_ engineering or that he would never survive law school even if he wanted to.

“Good, those are the kinds of courses a man should have, the kind that give you job stability,” His uncle remarked, “I told you these are what you should be focusing on, Youngjae, not dancing and skateboarding. Do you see?”

Eric seemed disappointed but not surprised that he was pulled into the conversation, “Yes.”

“Oh but, dancing could be really valuable too,” Sangyeon added carefully, “The performance industry is booming these days.”

He hesitated, frowning slightly, Sangyeon was afraid he’d just blown it, but the man only nodded, “I suppose so. But still, those things are impractical, for men. Yes, Youngjae?”

Eric sighed and exchanged gave Sangyeon a look of defeat, “Yes uncle.”

The rest of the ride was relatively silent, save for the bland country music from the radio.

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Once they made it to the church Eric announced that he and Sangyeon were going to the toilet. And after getting permission, Eric grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away.

He heard the others before they saw them, seated on benches and standing in the garden in front of the restrooms as they did every Sunday.

Yougnhoon rolled his eyes, “We weren’t having sex, we were just making out.”

“Making out is basically dickless sex,” Kevin insisted.

“Ew,” Haknyeon remarked.

Chanhee snorted, “You’re just saying that because your boyfriend refuses to have sex with you.”

“I’m telling you that his preference—”

“You were trying to have sex with me?” Jacob asked, “When?”

Changmin burst out laughing, but stopped and waved when he saw them coming, “You guys are here!”

Changmin handed him and Eric a container of cookies each as soon as they arrived. Just as Sangyeon thanked him with a pat on the head, Eric had already opened his container and taken a bite.

“Eric! The mass is starting soon, you can’t eat now,” Jacob laughed.

“Haven’t had breakfast,” Eric replied.

Sangyeon frowned “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Fuck the Eucharistic fast then. You want mine?” Younghoon held out his container.

Eric was so surprised by the gesture that he coughed on the whole cookie he had stuffed into his mouth.

Jacob dug his wallet out of his pocket, “Do you want me to buy you water?”

“We have water in the car,” Juyeon offered, “I mean it’s been there since last Sunday but it should probably still be fine.”

“Juyeon honey, no,” Hyunjae almost laughed.

“’M fine,” Eric insisted, brushing all of their hands off, “The cookies are great, thanks Changmin-hyung.”

“Sure. Seriously do you want more?”

“Cookies are not breakfast,” Chanhee insisted, “You should eat something else.”

Kevin pouted, “Cookies _are_ breakfast.”

Chanhee rolled his eyes, “And making out is dickless sex, we get it Kevin.”

“Guys stop,” Haknyeon laughed, “We’re right behind the church.”

As if on cue, the sound system of the church blared out the opening chords to the entrance antiphon, the synthesized organ making all of them jump.

“Okay, I guess the guest priest is early,” Jacob laughed, “I’ve got to get to the choir.”

“Aw, uncle’s going to kill us,” Eric closed his container and put it on top of Sangyeon’s, “Let’s go! Bye guys!”

Sangyeon ran with the containers in his arms, stashing them onto the pew as they slid in beside Eric’s uncle, who only gave them a stern look before facing the altar again.

“Why didn’t you eat breakfast?” Sangyeon whispered as the priest began greeting the people, “You never miss breakfast.”

“I was nervous okay?”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you later hyung.”

The rest of the mass passed at a reasonable pace until the homily. It turns out the priest was the type to ask to kids come to the aisle to recite. It was cute, especially when Haknyeon’s little sister Suyeon came down to recite several times, because she knew everything.

“She’s Juhak’s sister, of course she knows everything.”

“How old is she again?” Sangyeon laughed as she received her third chocolate prize of the day.

“Seven,” Eric replied, “She turned seven last week.”

“Aww.”

“Come here darling,” The priest smiled as Suyeon hurried back, “What did you say your name was again?”

“Suyeon!”

“You’re so smart, aren’t you! Can you tell me, what does Jesus say about loving our neighbors?”

Suyeon had to stand on her toes to reach the mic., “Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves, means we have to love everyone on Earth equally.”

“Very good! Here you can get your prize.”

Eric and Sangyeon clapped along with the parishioners.

The priest was about to pull the mic. back when Suyeon jumped up to say, “If I give a real-life example can I get more chocolate?”

“She really is Haknyeon’s sister,” Sangyeon laughed as Eric snorted into his hands.

“Of course,” The priest gave her the mic. to hold.

She immediately turned around to address the crowd, “An example of love like Jesus is… is my brother Haknyeon! He always cooks for us and makes sure we eat good food because he loves us!”

Haknyeon was beaming.

“And, and he and his friends love each other a lot too. Like Eric-oppa and Sunwoo-oppa, they love each other very much! Haknyeon-oppa always says so!”

Eric looked across the pew and made eye contact with Sunwoo, whose family was sitting in the next aisle. Sangyeon couldn’t tell what they were trying to say to each other, but he had a feeling about where Suyeon was going with this. Sangyeon caught Haknyeon’s smile becoming strained.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah! He says he and his friends are gay. _El-gee-bee-tee_ , and they love each other a lot because a lot of other people are mean to them,” She twirled her hair on her finger, like what she was saying was nothing, “But I don’t get why people are mean to them if Jesus said to love each other equally. Those people should all just listen to Jesus.”

There were few awkward laughs and murmurs from around the church, but what overpowered them was loud cheering and clapping from the back. Sangyeon and Eric turned and saw Hyunjae, Juyeon, and Chanhee standing up and clapping loudly. Younghoon and Sunwoo were sitting with their families to the left, but they were also clapping and yelling things like “yas queen” and “the children are the future!”

Eric’s uncle crossed his arms, “Unbelievable. Those are your friends?”

“Yes,” Sangyeon and Eric both chorused.

“How disrespectful.”

Eric’s hand slipped into Sangyeon’s and he squeezed it back silently.

A few of the other parishioners joined in the applause eventually. Eric’s uncle was not one of them, so Eric and Sangyeon didn’t. The priest gave an awkward smile and gave Suyeon another candy anyway. Haknyeon stood up to bring Suyeon back to their seats, looking like he was either about to scream or cry, probably both.

After the mass, Sangyeon and Eric found themselves filing out of the church and getting weird looks from all sides. Most of them were directed at Eric. After all these years, everyone in the parish knew everyone’s names and who was friends with whom, so Sangyeon had figured this would happen. It still didn’t make it any better.

Sangyeon held Eric’s hand all the way until the church steps.

“Eric-oppa!” Suyeon ran up to them at the front steps and hugged Eric’s leg.

“Hi Suyeon,” Eric let go of Sangyeon hand to pat Suyeon on the head. She giggled.

“Suyeon!” Haknyeon pushed through the crowd to get to them. He put his hands on Suyeons shoulders, “Hey guys. Good morning sir.”

“Hey.”

“Hi Juhak.”

Eric’s uncle didn’t smile. He looked at Haknyeon, “Where’s your mother?”

“She’s over there why do you ask?”

“I’d just like to have a word with her,” Eric’s uncle nodded at Suyeon, “I’m sure it’s not your sister’s fault she didn’t know what things were not to be said at church.”

Haknyeon’s mouth flattened into a line, “Excuse me?”

“ _Uncle_.”

“Youngjae, don’t whine,” His uncle pushed past Haknyeon a little less gently than he could have, “Excuse me.”

Haknyeon watched him walk up to his mother before turning back to them, “Are you in trouble?”

“Not yet.”

“Are you gonna cry, Eric-oppa?” Suyeon frowned.

Eric looked way, but Suyeon was right, he looked like he was about to cry, “It’s okay Suyeon.”

Sangyeon shifted the cookie boxes and put an arm around Eric’s shoulders.

Haknyeon squatted next to his sister, “Suyeon, I told you, you can’t just say things like that to everyone.”

“But why?”

“Because some people won’t understand. It’s all fine with us but when other people hear about this stuff, they get mad.”

“But that’s not fair, they can’t get mad just because.”

“But they do, people like Eric’s uncle do. That’s why it was a secret from him.”

“But now he knows. Is that why Eric-oppa’s crying? Because of me?”

Then it hit Sangyeon what had just happened. Suyeon had just outed Eric, and Sunwoo, and all of them to the whole parish. Even if she didn’t outright say Eric was gay, Sangyeon was sure his uncle would jump to the right conclusion.

“Eric-oppa, I’m sorry,” Suyeon tugged at Eric’s shirt, looking up at him like she was about to cry too.

Eric buried his face in Sangyeon’s shouder and cried.

Sangyeon tried for a smile, “Suyeonnie it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I told a secret, that is wrong,” Suyeon tugged at Eric’s shirt again, “I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

Haknyeon wrapped his arms around her, “No, he’s not mad at you, he’s just overwhelmed. Don’t be sorry okay?”

“She has nothing to be sorry for!”

All of them looked up at across the church courtyard. The crowd cleared enough for an obvious space around Haknyeon’s parents. Juyeon’s parents, and Eric’s uncle stood opposite them.

“She has nothing to be sorry for,” Hanknyeon mom repeated, “I’m not teaching my child anything wrong.”

“It’s your son then,” Juyeon’s dad said, “He and his other friends have infected our son too—”

“Do not talk about them like that,” Sunwoo’s mother stepped in, “Just because you fail to understand your children doesn’t mean that they’re wrong or diseased in any way.”

“Being gay is wrong, but the children are not,” Eric’s uncle said, “It is our job as parents and guardians to help them out of it, not encourage them.”

Haknyeon mom gasped, “How can you say that about your nephew’s identity?”

“It’s not an identity, it’s some sort of condition. Not a quite disease, but perhaps a developmental problem with his brain. He’ll snap out of it when he gets older. But to expose younger children to such behavior and to reinforce it is irresponsible parenting.”

Haknyeon rolled his eyes, but Sangyeon didn’t miss the way his fists balled in his pockets, “Suyeon, go with noona to the car okay?”

“Okay. Bye! Eric-oppa be happy soon!”

They waved her off as she went over to Haknyeon’s older sister, who just nodded at Haknyeon before leaving.

Hyunjae came up to them a second later, tugging what appeared to be a crying Juyeon with him, “Let’s go to the garden.”

Sangyeon wanted to stab himself for almost forgetting about Juyeon. It had never occurred to him that Juyeon wasn't out to his parents, but then again, why else would they set him up on so many dates with girls?

“Are the others there?” Sangyeon asked

“Well, they’re definitely not going come here,” Haknyeon waved at the argument that seemed to be getting louder, “Let’s leave the adults to the adulting.”

“Adulting? They’re worse than us,” Hyunjae laughed, patting Juyeon on the back, “Come on.”

Juyeon nodded.

Juyeon and Eric were quiet during their walk around the church. But Hyunjae took it upon himself to fill them in on Juyeon finally coming to out to his family right after the mass in front of a lot of acquaintances, then running over to Hyunjae.

They reached the garden, where Jacob and Kevin immediately sandwiched Eric and Juyeon in a Moonbae Hug™ (only second in comfort to a Sangyeon Hug which they received immediately after.) Younghoon had gotten milk from somewhere, so they were finishing up the cookies with it and lounging around in relative peace until something occurred to Sangyeon.

“Wait, you guys are officially out.”

“Yeah, don’t remind us,” Eric laughed wetly.

“No this is great, because my parents are out for the weekend.”

“The fuck does that have to do with it?” Younghoon said, but Chanhee caught on immediately.

“That’s actually a good idea.”

“What is?” Juyeon sniffled as Hyunjae wiped his milk moustache away

“Throwing you a party,” Sangyeon grinned, “A coming out party.”

Sangyeon had read about this online. He wasn’t sure if it was one of those things that only happened in America, but it sounded like a nice thing to do.

“That would be nice,” Jacob agreed. If Jacob agreed, how bad could it be?

“Oh my god,” Kevin sat up, “Do we need decorations? I can make some.”

“Who else are we going to invite?”

“No one, just us,” Sangyeon laughed, “It’s that kind of party.”

“Okay because for a second there I really thought you were going to throw a fucking house party while your parents are out of town,” Changmin laughed.

“That would have been very sexy of you, but this is also sexy,” Hyunjae smiled, ruffling Juyeon’s hair, “Also a good reason to get away from home for a bit. I think you both need to.”

Eric bit into a cookie, “Juyeon should. But I should probably head home—"

“Your uncle is an asshole,” Sunwoo, who hadn’t said a word or moved from his spot against the tree since they had arrived, stopped glaring at the ground and met Eric’s eyes again, “I hate him. I actually hate him.”

“ _Sunwoo.”_

Eric looked up at him for a minute, then laughed, “He’s just… doing what he believes.”

“It’s still not okay that he believes you’re mentally deranged,” Sangyeon said.

Sunwoo, as usual, was not about to mince his words, “Well, I believe he’s a fucking tit. You deserve better.”

Eric patted Sangyeon away and moved to sit next to Sunwoo on the ground, “Why do you say such attractive things at the worst possible time?”

“It’s my brand,” Sunwoo hummed, “Seriously, don’t go home tonight, or I might have to kill him.”

“You don’t have to kill him.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with him.”

“While Sunwoo makes many points,” Hanknyeon said, “You should stop, your uncle is coming.”

_“Son Youngjae.”_

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.”

_“Sunwoo.”_

They all fell silent when Eric’s uncle came into view, walking towards the garden but still unable to see them.

Eric gave them a small smile before wiping his eyes and standing up, “I’ll tell him I’m not coming home.”

Eric laughed when Sangyeon and Sunwoo both stood up to go with him, “It’s fine. I want to talk to him. But um, can you guys stay here, so you can still, hear it?”

Sunwoo looked ready to argue, but Sangyeon put a hand on his shoulder, and he nodded. Eric tucked his hand into his pockets and walked out of the garden.

Eric and his uncle were out of his sight, but the other boys stayed quiet to try to hear what was happening. They didn’t hear much until Eric started to raise his voice.

Eric took a breath, _“Why is it wrong to support something you believe in? It’s what you do. Isn’t that what we go here for?”_

_“Do not compare homosexuality to worship.”_

“What would he know? Doubt he does either of those things,” Kevin snorted.

The others bit back laughs as Eric and his uncle went on.

_“Youngjae, do not talk about this here.”_

_“I can’t talk about it here, I can’t talk about it at home, outside, at school, where am I supposed to talk about it?”_

_“I will not encourage this behavior in you, all right? It isn’t right, I’m doing this because I care, I want you to be good.”_

_“You care? You don’t let me talk, you don’t let me think, that’s caring?”_ Eric took a breath, _“And the worst part is that mom and dad are halfway around the world and they don’t know—"_

_“I’m sure your mother would agree with me, don’t you want your parents to be proud?”_

“Hold me back,” Sunwoo grit out, and Sangyeon clamped his arms to his sides, “Thank you.”

“At least finish high school before you commit murder,” Hyunjae whispered.

“This man has it coming,” Haknyeon grumbled.

_“They are proud of me! You’re the only one who would ever say otherwise. The things you say and you’ve just gotten it into my mind that I’m wrong but I know I’m not.”_

_“You are not what’s wrong, as I said—”_

_“It’s just being gay that’s wrong? But I am gay, that’s the whole point, it’s part of me! It isn’t just some growth that you can cut out of my intestines or treat like a tumor or something. It’s part of who I am.”_

_“It is not part of you, your parents would never raise you to—”_

_“Well, they did raise me and I’m gay, so is it bad?”_

_“They made a mistake.”_

_“Take it up with them then. ‘Oh, hi sister just wanted to say you messed up when you were raising your son, now I have to pick up after you,’ that must suck for you uncle!”_

_“Youngjae, you’re being extremely rude.”_

_“So are you, calling my friends diseased and disturbed all the great words you came up with. Guess what, using big words doesn’t make you any less ignorant!”_

_“I only care about you. You need to understand that.”_

_“No, you only care about yourself. So, no I’m not going home with you.”_

_“Your parents will hear about this.”_

Sangyeon could hear Eric walking back to them, then he stopped.

Eric laughed, surprising them all, “You know uncle, I’m kind of sorry for you.”

“What?”

“If you refuse to understand other people at all, even your own family,” Eric laughed again, “No wonder you’re single.”

All of their jaws dropped.

Sangyeon was so surprised that he let go of Sunwoo, who immediately ran out of the garden gate and yelled, “AND YOUR DICK IS DRY AS FUCK!”

His voice echoed through the church courtyard, and it was the final straw that broke the group’s silence, making them laugh until they were all on the ground.

Eric came back to them, somewhere in between laughing and crying, tugging along an overly satisfied Sunwoo behind him.

Eric wiped a tear from his eyes and leaned on Sunwoo, “Can we go now before uncle tries to stop me? Or kill Sunwoo?”

“Of course,” Sangyeon struggled to his feet and took a deep breath, “Jacob, we’re using your car?”

“Yeah, my parents brought another one,” Jacob gasped out between laughs.

“Wait I’m not over it,” Changmin giggled.

“Goddamnit Sunwoo,” Chanhee stuttered out, still laugh-screaming into Younghoon’s back.

Sangyeon was about suggest that they hurry again. But he made eye contact with Eric and Sunwoo, and they all fell to the floor laughing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry anyway a lil bit heavy but i need to get it out bec the sixth chapter is so nice
> 
> dont take eric's uncle too seriously im just using an ungodly mix of things my friends hear from their relatives ahahaha shoutout to my doods i miss them 😢😢😢


	6. Slunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jail can’t scare us because we’re all going to hell anyway.”  
> “True.”  
> “Oh, don’t say that,” Jacob laughed.  
> “Except Sangyeon, he’s not going to hell,” Sunwoo added.  
> “I mean,” Sangyeon shook his head, “I’ll go wherever you guys are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first time i have actually finished writing a chaptered fic???? if u see my other works i have a whole series of fics that started out nice but i had no energy to finish so this is... new. idk how to end it??
> 
> anyway beepbopbeepboop bahh

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“So, what do we do?”

“Hm?”

“What do we do?” Jacob whispered and gestured at the boys piled into the back of the pickup truck, being noisy and trying to play off what had just happened, “Do we all just go to your house?”

“Yeah. Maybe take the long way so this drive is fun.”

“What if Eric’s uncle… you know? Do we report that motherfucker to the police?” Kevin said, fiddling with the middle seat’s belt, “I dunno how much a cop’s gonna believe a bunch of high school twinks though.”

“That is what we are, isn’t it?” Jacob laughed.

“Except for you Sangyeon, you’re a hunk.”

Sangyeon laughed, “No I’m not.”

“A twunk,” Kevin amended, “But seriously, what about Juyeon? Did he even ask his parents? We’re going to be in trouble.”

“Maybe,” Sangyeon shrugged, “That’s a problem for later, or tomorrow. We should just let them enjoy themselves.”

“Agreed. Oh hey,” Jacob hummed, turning up the radio, “Kev, open the window please.”

Kevin opened the back window into the trunk and yelled, “Juyeon! It’s your song!”

“Oh my God!” Juyeon stood, only for a bump in the road to send him falling onto Hyunjae, “Ow.”

“Don’t stand up in the car dumbass,” Younghoon laughed

Chanhee punched him in the gut, “Don’t call him a dumbass, asshole.”

“Kevin turn that shit up!” Changmin yelled from where he was trying to detangle himself from Juyeon and Hyunjae.

Kevin turned the knob until the music was uncomfortably loud for those of them sitting in front, but perfect yelling volume for the guys at the back.

In a sort of hive-mind state, they all threw their heads back in time to yell the chorus they all knew by heart. Well, mostly by heart; the lyrics were in English, so what Sangyeon had memorized was admittedly dubious at best.

Eric was yelling especially loud, tune and grammar damned to hell. The only things keeping him from standing were Sunwoo’s arms around his waist. Sangyeon couldn’t help but smile, he hadn’t seen Eric this full of life in weeks.

“We’re so going to get noise complaints or something!” Kevin yelled after the chorus, while some of them were still yelling along to the instrumental.

Juyeon frowned, “Can people file noise complaints against cars? I thought it was only for houses?”

“Complaints are filed against people, honey, not structures,” Haknyeon laughed.

Hyunjae cackled, “Oh _structures_. Haknyeon’s flexing his _Lexile_ score at us.”

“Structure isn’t a big word, you’re just an idiot,” Haknyeon spat back, and Hyunjae busted out laughing.

“Fuck the police,” Eric’s voice was little hoarse already, but he laughed, “Jail can’t scare us because we’re all going to hell anyway.”

“True.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Jacob laughed.

“Except Sangyeon, he’s not going to hell,” Sunwoo added.

“I mean,” Sangyeon shook his head, “I’ll go wherever you guys are.”

“Hyung what the fuck!” Chanhee yelled, throwing some sort of paper at Sangyeon, only for it to be whipped away by the wind.

“Oh my God I’m gonna cry.”

“I already am.”

“You would go for hell to us?”

“Not that I believe any of you would actually end up there,” Sangyeon twisted in his seat to face them, “But yeah, of course.”

"Hyuuuung!"

"Dude shut up what the fuuuuck."

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

They had tired themselves out by the time Jacob’s extended route led them back to Sangyeon’s house. Eric, Sunwoo, Juyeon and Haknyeon in particular, had already fallen asleep in a tangled pile as the discussion had died down.

“We’re here guys,” Sangyeon patted them awake, laughing when they all let out a collective yawn and Haknyeon and Sunwoo swatted at him, “Oh come on. You guys just need to eat a late lunch and then you can nap again.”

“We should build a pillow fort! Like we used to,” Juyeon suggested, already smiling despite having just woken up.

“That sounds… great actually,” Haknyeon mumbled.

“Yeah, but like,” Kevin took Jacob’s hand to help him out of the truck, “’Like we used to’? When have we ever?”

“In elementary,” Changmin said, then he laughed when he realized, “Oh right, you weren’t here.”

“It’s easy to forget,” Jacob shrugged, “Feels like we’ve known you for forever.”

“I think we just know way too much about you.”

“Oh, shut up Chanhee.”

“Eric,” Sunwoo nudged Eric, who was still asleep on his arm, “Dude, we’re going to build a pillow fort.”

Eric nodded, still not opening his eyes, “Can I be the prince?”

Kevin looked even more confused, “Prince?”

“It means we spoil him, and he doesn’t have to help build the fort and stuff,” Haknyeon explained, “Also, we have to carry him everywhere.”

“Of course, you can,” Sangyeon leaned forward and Eric crawled into his arms.

“Mhm,” Eric smiled and curled up so Sangyeon could carry him, “Get to work commoners.”

“You heard his highness!” Changmin yelled.

They worked almost as a unit, getting all the extra blankets and rolled up futons as soon as Sangyeon told them where they were as he brought Eric up to his bedroom. When Sangyeon put Eric down he went to check on the living room first, since the kitchen smelled like things were going smoothly. He was surprised to find the fort actually coming together. It seemed they remembered the formula for their blanket forts well even after years.

When he noticed Sangyeon walking into the room, Juyeon walked over on his knees and hugged him around the tummy.

Sangyeon patted Juyeon on the head, “How are you doing?”

“Hungry and sleepy but mostly hungry,” Juyeon was kind of tugging Sangyeon’s pants down with his hug, but Sangyeon didn’t stop him, “Is that tape? You’re taping the pillows?”

“We always did,” Hyunjae tore some cello tape out loudly and cut it with his teeth, “How did you think it held together until the morning?”

“…magic? I dunno, I’m stupid,” That was something Juyeon said a little too often, but after him having cried for most of the morning it felt concerningly un-humorous.

“No, you aren’t,” Sangyeon said.

Juyeon looked up at him in confusion, “Yes I am? You guys say it all the time.”

Hyunjae sighed, “Juyeon, we don’t actually mean it. Most of us just find insults easier to say than ‘I love you’.”

“Feeling a little attacked, but okay,” Younghoon rolled his eyes.

Hyunjae huffed, “Yeah, case in point, Younghoon.”

“It’s kind of stupid of _us_ really, to not want to be sincere,” Kevin added, taping a pile of pillows Jacob was holding in place.

“You guys don’t have to come for me like this.”

“Oh shut up,” Hyunjae nailed Younghoon in the face with a throw pillow.

“If anything, you’re smart for just saying what’s on your mind,” Jacob smiled, ignoring Younghoon and Hyunjae glaring at each other, “And letting us know what you feel all the time.”

“You never have long, drawn out issues that could be solved if you just talked them out,” Younghoon laughed.

Hyunjae raised another pillow, “Bitch, stop making this about you.”

“I was agreeing!”

Kevin hummed, “That thing with Chanhee _was_ very stupid of you.”

“It was both of our faults, right Sangyeon?”

“Nah, not really,” Sangyeon shrugged, “It was mostly your problem.”

Younghoon gaped at him, betrayed, but before he could deliver some sort of monologue, Changmin poked his head through the doorway.

“Lunch is ready!” He announced, then paused, “I mean it’s late lunch technically, so I don’t know what to call it”

“ _Slunch_.”

“…What?”

They all looked at Juyeon, who blushed a little and shrugged, “Late lunch is like snacks already so… slunch?”

“That word kinda slaps actually,” Kevin nodded, pronouncing it in the most horrid American accent he could conjure, “ _Slunch_.”

Changmin laughed, “Let’s call it that then. Slunchtime guys!”

The others laughed and followed Changmin out of the living room, Jacob and Hyunjae ruffling Juyeon’s hair as they went ahead.

Juyeon and Sangyeon stayed still for a minute. Juyeon hugged Sangyeon a little more tightly, “I know I shouldn’t listen when my parents always call me stupid for grades and the dates never working out but…”

“Of course it’s hard not to listen to them, they’re your parents.”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re great Juyeon. You don’t need to doubt that.”

“You guys make me feel pretty great,” Juyeon pulled himself up to stand and smiled at Sangyeon, “I’m hungry.”

“Let’s go have slunch then,” Sangyeon took a step forward and frowned, realizing that his waist band was now lower than his underwear, “Ah.”

“Oh, oops,” Juyeon laughed, “Sorry.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

After slunch they had all decided to nap, cramming themselves into the now completed fort of mattresses, pillows, and the living room furniture rearranged as walls.

“Ow, fuck.”

“Hyung I can’t breathe.”

“Whose foot is this?”

“Mine—ah hey don’t twist it!”

“Maybe we’re getting a bit big for this.”

“You were always too big for the fort.”

“Wouldn’t you know it?”

“… was that supposed to be a dick joke?”

“Jacob, your butt is great and all but could you get it out of my face?”

“Sorry! Rolling over.”

“Is he wrong though?”

“Yes, he is definitely wrong, your dick is literally the smallest thing about you, fucking sasquatch.”

Eric groaned, “As you prince, I order you to all shut up.”

“Excellent choice your highness,” Sunwoo grumbled.

Unsurprisingly, most of them dropped off to sleep in a matter of minutes. It was hard not to in their cocoon of warmth, especially since they’d chosen an off-white blanket for the roof that made all light warm and comfortable. But Sangyeon stayed awake, because some part of him always felt the need to wait for everyone else to fall asleep before him.

(Paternal instincts, as Sunwoo called them.)

“Hyung?” Eric whispered, practically inaudible if he were not right up against Sangyeon’s ear, “I can’t sleep.”

“Really?” Usually, Eric had the opposite of trouble falling asleep. He slept anywhere and everywhere, even while standing during a couple of morning assemblies.

“Yeah. It’s like, I’m tired, really tired but I can’t get comfortable enough so I’m not passing out.”

Sangyeon hummed and manager to face Eric without waking Changmin on his arm, “Is your ankle bothering you? Is someone sleeping on it?”

“It’s fine,” Eric and Sangyeon both looked down as Eric wiggled his toes on top of Sunwoo’s leg, “It’s just a sprain, I’ve barely felt it the last two days.”

_You never told me how you got it,_ Sangyeon thought, but decided not to say.

Eric seemed to pick up anyway, “I got it because I fell down the stairs. Uncle yelled at me suddenly and I got surprised.”

“He yelled at you out of nowhere?” Sangyeon knew the man was an asshole but he didn’t think that he was straight up insane.

“No, he just found something that set him off, and he heard me come home so he just… yeah. He found that yaoi Sunwoo lent me, he ripped it in half.”

“…What do you want to do about him?” Sangyeon muttered when Eric looked at him, “I’m not just going to let you go home to him after that.”

“It’s okay actually, I called my parents.”

“You did? When?”

“That’s why Sunwoo and I were late to… slunch,” Eric chuckled, “Sunwoo came to check on me and I didn’t want to be alone for the call, so yeah.”

“That’s great,” Sangyeon smiled, “What did they say?”

“Uhm, they were really good about it. I’m thinking maybe my sister told them something, she’s always known,” Eric’s eyes were starting to tear up, “But they said we’d work it out, I don’t have to talk to him again… said they loved me and they were proud of me.”

Sangyeon nodded, letting out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding, “That’s great, it really is.”

“Fucking deserve,” Sunwoo mumbled, mowing closer to Eric.

Sangyeon laughed as Eric nudged him, “Go back to sleep dude.”

“You should try to sleep too,” Sangyeon whispered, “You don’t have to worry right now, things will work out."

"I know," Eric smiled, his eyes already falling shut, "Thanks hyung."

Sangyeon woke up later, unable to breathe because both Eric and Sunwoo were on top of him, and the blanket ceiling had come down into his face. He moved the blanket away and watched all his friends as they moved in their sleep, slowly but surely wrecking their fort. It was one of the best things he had ever seen. He couldn’t take a picture, so he decided to just close his eyes and commit the scene to memory.

“Hyung, what time is it?”

Sangyeon blinked in surprise, turning to see Haknyeon awake and looking at him. Sangyeon squinted at the wall clock, “Around five. Why?”

“I don’t wanna get up yet.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Nope.”

“Then you can go back to sleep.”

“Okay. Love you hyung.”

Sangyeon smiled.

“You don’t have to be gay to say it back,” Haknyeon grumbled when he didn’t get an answer.

“I love you too,” Sangyeon laughed, “Go back to sleep.”

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song they were yelling to in my head was youth by troye sivan because 2015 was such a time to be a high school gay... then again theres also that scene where they're playing among us so idk abt the year, time is a social construct
> 
> that's all for this series, hope u liked it!!! stay safe and stay gay, stream the stealer idk💕💕💕

**Author's Note:**

> my first the boyz fic, definitely not my last


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